hello all

how is my fellow blogger friends and family i want to talk about gods love and my daughter tonight............ we will start at the begining my daugher hannah who is now 2 was born febuary 27 2004 she was a pure joy hardly ever cried............... anyway... hannah got sick around october of 2004 she was having trouble breathing they gave her a nebulizer and sent her home she stayed sick for a little while and a couple weeks later we took her back to the emergancy room..... they didnt do anything said she would be ok just to keep giving her her breathing treatment every couple of hours........... i did that and it got worse so i had to drive 45 minutes to the childrens hospital i was sooo scared because before i took her to the hospital she was starting to grunt i just knew she wasnt gonna make it i kept praying that god would help me get to the hospital in time........... well i got to the hospital and got her out of the car and she was turning blue and was lifeless....... i was sooooo scared my son dj was with me he was scared to he stayed with me the whole time........ i was alone except for my kids i was almost panicking............. i was definately crying........ any way they immediately took her to the back to the doctor her oxygen level was deahtly low i dont think it was even 30 her lips were blue the doctors immediately started working on her she didnt move at all no struggle in her what so ever................. the doctors were asking me all kind of questions that i couldnt even think of the answers i felt like a horrible mother but i was just worried about my baby that was all i could think of they put in a breathing tube down her throat that was horrible they put in a iv and sent her to the pediatric intensive care unit.......... i then watched them do a spinal tap on my 8 month old she still didnt move i knew i had just waited to long to bring her to the hospital........... they then began to run test take blood poke and jab it seemed like nothing came back the next few hours the doctor came in and told my husband and i {he came to the hospital when they were bring hannah up to the picu} he told us hannah had pnumonia in both her lung and there was a lot of it........... then they told us she had rsv a lung infection that premature and low birth weight babies get hannah was neither..... well then they told us she had whooping cough a very deadly sickness......... well she ended up not having the whooping cough thank god............ but they tried to keep her sedated..... and she would wake up a little and u could just look at her and see the tears come down her cheeks.........i wanted to be in her place i prayed that god would let her be ok and take me instead i didnt want her to suffer this please god give it to me i would say as i sat there and watched her cry........... she would wake up and cough and try to pull the tube out of her mouth it was horrible......... i still have a hard time talking about it.......... they ended up having to strap her hands down so she wouldnt pull the tubes down they loaded her little body down with iv fluids because she was severely dehydrated from the heavy breathing............. it seemed like she would never be able to wake up......... her little body was swollen her eyes were swollen that was awful........ god touch her please place angels all around her i would say............... one morning when we woke up her oxygen level was way up to like 80 percent thank you god for touching my angel i said they let her wake up slowly....... and they took the tube out of her and finally woke her completley up i was soo happy my hubby and i both just cried god had brought my baby through this praise his holy name.............. we werent at the hospital very long after that she just made a miraculas recovery it was almost instant she has since then been diagnosed with asthma we already knew she had it duh........ i am not even a doctor........... she has been in the hospital 6 more time none as bad as that ......... it is hard to write about it even now i dont know how i made it through yes i do i do god brought all of us through when i brought her to the er on that dreadful afternoon dj was a rock he told me mommy it will be ok he went to her even while she lay there motionless and he told her hannah it is going to be ok i love you baby girl that is her nickname......... he was scared but he was strong for me and hannah thank you god for my little rock thank u for dj................. i am sitting here remembering this and crying with joy god pulled us all through this he showed me his love that night and many other time he shows me his love everyday of my life......... wow it is amazing how i could sin so much and him still love me it is that was with my kids i can yell at them a thousand times a day but they will come up to me and tell me they love me and give me hugs and kisses.................... i have made a decision tonight i am gonna walk beside god not behind him i am gonna hold his hands on those bumpy roads that i cant walk alone and if i get a little ahead of my self and stumble to the ground i am gonna reach for his hand that is always waithing to pull me up and wipe away my tears and continue with my lifes journey............. thank you god for loving me i love you toooooo